andrew and esther *
Wednesday, November 14, 2007 <3 when there was "we"
the softness in your eyes seemed to gradually fade away,
just like how the word "we" has disappeared.
if it's forced, why don't you come back?
but i don't know. maybe it's for real.
no matter what, i'll still be proud of you for everything you do.
Jiayou!
neveralone ;6:38 PM
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Friday, October 19, 2007 <3 flashbacks are the only times i can be with you now
RAH! i'm pretty bored..
all that mugging! (yea, like i really am anyway.)
since no one comes here, i'll just use this place to put my thoughts.
Today in the school library, i had an emo moment.
I had a flashback from the year before.
thanks to Clay Aiken's "Sleigh Ride" on my mp3!
Around this time last year, he would have preparing for As, i thought.
Let me describe the scene to you:
He was studying at the library and I only managed to join him around closing time.
As usual, i was trying to mug along with him when this song came on my mp3 player..all of a sudden the song triggered me to become hyped up about Christmas and the upcoming holidays.
I wrote on my notes " I can't wait for christmas!". He laughed.
I still have that set of notes that never fails to remind of that day.
It was a song both of us loved and he also played it for his recital last christmas.
Actually, moments like these aren't rare, if you thought so.
Random flashbacks, good and bad keep coming back to me, often triggered by very mundane things, like walking out of the lift of my flat. =x
Images of his back when the sky hasn't broken out with the first morning light: often the first i see in the start of a school day.
I can still smell the morning breath and feel the warmth of the smile and the hug.
The quiet but comforting bus rides and walks to school (blame insufficent sleep), punctuated with days where we simply go insane from our jokes.
The band table. We initially used to meet there.
Fitting each other into as many breaks, "toilet visits", self-proclaimed breaks as we could.
gosh. we were really so sticky then.
Even at a period of time packing lunch to school for each other.
And my, messaging one another even though we're both in school!
Of course, i can never forget band especially. The times we spent working together as a team..the times he coached me. The times i bore the brunt of his strictness. But it was then i was playing at my peak.
oh which brings me to some flashbacks of us going home from band prac together..sometimes only when the sky has darkened (or most of the time).
more significantly to the time when we first went home together(also the day we first went to school together?). I remember all the J1s were in thier own school uniforms going for dinner together after band prac, but i stayed to wait for the J2s who were having a meeting. He was the first to rush out and meet me, and i got teased at.
Teachers recognised us, friends recognised us. We were a unit..one not without the other.
i can just keep going on at this man. sigh.
But now, i can't imagine things being the way they were anymore.
They seem to belong to a very distant past, feeling almost like it didn't exist in my life before..although it's been barely a year plus.
Memories of band is being with RQ, Dor, Elissa and Ans. The nights i've spent walking across the bridge by myself after band prac. the classmates who've brightened mundane school days. Now in the mornings, i prefer to walk alone. I've forgotten the feeling of waking up and actually looking forward to getting out of bed. Skipping school is not as exciting anymore. The windy place doesn't seem such a pleasant place anymore. There's not much difference in weekdays and weekends now. I've lost touch with my emotions, I've lost the feeling of being with you.
neveralone ;12:52 AM
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Monday, September 03, 2007 <3 Changing of guards
So proud of you. (:
neveralone ;6:25 PM
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Friday, August 17, 2007 <3 nice song =)
hey..i've got a nice song to share =)
Sarah McLachian- I will remember you
I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don’t let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
Remember the good times that we had?
I let them slip away from us when things got bad
How clearly I first saw you smiling in the sun
Wanna feel your warmth upon me, I wanna be the one
Chorus
I’m so tired but I can’t sleep
Standin’ on the edge of something much too deep
It’s funny how we feel so much but we cannot say a word
We are screaming inside, but we can’t be heard
Chorus
I’m so afraid to love you, but more afraid to loose
Clinging to a past that doesn’t let me choose
Once there was a darkness, deep and endless night
You gave me everything you had, oh you gave me light
neveralone ;5:22 PM
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Wednesday, June 20, 2007 <3 back and perhaps gone again soon...
ok it's been a long long time since i last posted n i will be e ONLY, i repeat, the ONLY person blogging here cos esther can't blog at blogger.com from her home... how sad eh?? hmmm bmt has finally ended n me passed out as a private (n no longer a recruit!!!) haha... many things hav happened throughout this period... ups n downs; rough patches more often than not especially during e final weeks of my bmt... well i guess we were both stressed with our own lives, while having to cope wif each other... ok times weren't all that bad actually haha... we had our fair share of good times too =D
went to places we'd wanted to go n tried new stuffs we nv tried haha (sho-u!!) hmmm i think pictures speaks more eh??? so here they r haha
our all time fav mos burger at ps haha
this one was at swensens...
ok now this was a realli memorable evening at sho-u!!
chawan-munshi trio!
"Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion's starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there - fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge - they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find that love actually is all around."
<3 andrew~
neveralone ;11:57 PM
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Monday, April 30, 2007 <3 all the small things
ahhh army has really made me appreciate all the small things in life... in e past, whenever esther n i go out, i'd think up of e best place to go for lunch or dinner or e nicest place juz for a cuppa coffee... now however, juz spending time wif esther is more than i could ever ask for... no matter where we go, wat we do, it realli doesn't matter at all... on e contrary, e things tt really make me smile from deep inside r her lil gestures, her sparkling eyes n sweetest smiles... these realli make a great difference as compared to the place we're in n everything...
well, i'm booking in tmr alr... altho i'm feeling quite emo now, cos i dun feel like gg back at all, i am realli realli thankful we got to spend so so much time tgt fer e past 3 days... all those times i'll nv ever forget... thank you darling =) i love you
<3 andrew~
neveralone ;8:03 PM
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Sunday, April 29, 2007 <3 1st bookout!!!!!...... finally....
how long is 17 days???
hmmm in e past, it would pass real fast; with esther everyday, all e good times juz swished away right b4 our eyes... but now... haiz... time literally CRAWLS... well it was real hard initially (e 1st few days especially) but as time went by it got faster cos 1st bookout seemed so much nearer each day... n here i am! into e 3rd day of bookout (thanx to mayday holiday) n grabbing every second i can to spend more time wif esther... tho didn't realli go to many places n all but nth matter at all other than all e quality time spent... we can do anything at all it doesn't realli matter, but more imptly we enjoy each other's company =D
at e pt i saw esther at pasir ris mrt on fridae nite, all tt agony n sweat n longingness n emotional moments n times throughout e past 17 days seem to juz vanish into e thin air n joy juz overwhelmed me... let's juz keep this short n sweet:
darling, realli realli thanx fer everything these past few days... it might not seem much to u but to me, everything is a bonus alr, juz seeing u n holding u in my arms remind me of how blessed i am to hav u in my life darling... love u loads n loads =)
<3 andrew~
neveralone ;9:51 PM
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Thursday, April 26, 2007 <3 to unrot this blog...
heyhey!
i'm so slacking in school right now!
But i really can't bear to see this blog rot away anyway!!
he's coming back tomorrow
TOMORROW okay!
after 17 gruelling days!
it's weird though it felt as if the days crawled past these 16days
haven't seen him fot that long..and i sure do miss him alot
but yet, at the same time,
it feels like he was never gone from my side
like his voice and his face..feels so close
like..like i just-saw-him-a-moment-ago kind of feeling
haha guess not many will understand what i'm saying lah.
but yea, what he said this morning is true
it just feels like we've met not long ago
which is ironic once again,
cause time has passed so super uber slowly for the past 2weeks plus!
RAH.
miss you!
p.s. Baby, no caps for you...cause you said you wouldn't need one. =p i'll still proudly walk beside you no matter how you look. (:
neveralone ;11:28 AM
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Monday, April 02, 2007 <3 sentosa, our 1st!
ahh haha.
feels good to blog again..
must tell you about saturday!
SENTOSA!
i don't know how to describe it all
it was nothing much, yet memorable and sweet. :)
the weather turned out nice afterall, after the rain and the evening air was cool
and Sentosa's changed! more developed if i can say...
alhtough there's still quite alot of of construction still underway
took the train in from Vivocity and stopped at the Beach station..
had our litlle picnic. and Movenpick icecream!! ohmyyy....
he was so amusing as usual. HAHA.
caught the new attraction too, Songs of the Sea...from the outside that is.
anyway, if you're there you have to catch it! it's so niceeeeeeeee!!
with its fireworks and pyrotechnics and part-musical fountain with a storyline.
plus it's only $6!
haha sounds like i'm advertising for it.
anyway...this trip to Sentosa also has some meaning
because Andrew's going for NS in a week's time =(
so i thought we'd have some nice time together before **
yah, NS is a censored word.
gotta thank my dearest for all he's done after his Alevels ended.
all the effort he has put in.
like last week when i had to extract TWO wisdom teeth,
he was there by my side to tend to me and my beeding gums
buy soft food for me, rent dvds to watch with me.
all that despite having to go to work and being tred.
sigh. i know i'm being very pessimistic.
every guy has to go NS.
but...but i'll really miss all these days at school and him working
i don't know what will come when he goes in..
how i'd survive J2, bitchy classmate, unreasonable tutors, hell-like PE,
the saxtion, my sax playing, weird tuition teachers, parents and brother..
basically, just my life.
it might just come to a stop. =x
neveralone ;10:39 PM
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Saturday, March 10, 2007 <3 this is the new beginning
ahh it's realli been such a long time since i last blogged... not tt i dun wanna, but juz realli couldn't find time to haha =x anw... i left off in my previous post in january huh... there has been quite alot of ups and downs between us ever since my A's last year and many times it seemed like it wuz realli gg to end rite there... haha one might question whether our relationship is on e the rocks... i would say "yes" and "no" hahaha... well no relationship is smooth sailing wat... there're bound to be times we're thrown onto e edge of e cliff, on e verge of letting go and giving up the journey so far... but well i'm extremely glad to say, we're still holding on strong =))))
we all noe tt getting along tgt as a couple is so much more than juz falling madly in love n all... like how i told esther e nite b4, our relationship is like a little seedling... i am the sunshine and she's the water, and so without either one e seedling won't survive... over this past year, i would say this seedling has grown into a tiny little tree, with its first leaves popping outta its still tiny stalk (not trunk yet haha)... here i realli wanna thank esther, for being the water that nurtures our little plant for this past year, so tt it absorbs nutrients n grows taller each day =))))
so there wuz anniversary, which wuz rather simple, which wuz wat we wanted all along... i mean, after celebrating like EVERY month, which we cannot even recall all of e places we went to eat at these months, tho some were extremely memorable, we thot tt juz each other's company wuz so much more significant than eating at posh restaurants n expensive gifts fer each other... haha our valentines' day this yr wuz more memorable!!! haha...
yep, so we finally got to spend our valentines' day tgt!!! =x haha after so much contemplation and planning cos she had school and band tt day tt ended onli at 7 plus... okok so this wuz how it went... haha i prepared a special valentines' day menu, enjoyed in a realli romantic candle-lit ambience... hahaha so wat wuz on e "special" menu??? here goes: appetizer - seared beef scrolls in rasberry sauce (it's a very tiny portion, juz one mouthful... my very own creation), main course - baked chicken leg stuffed with mushrooms and herbs (deboning took quite some work haha!), dessert - chocolate ice cream cake (haha her favourite!!)... oh yes i found her all-time favourite chocolate truffle shower cream!!!! hahaha she wuz so thrilled to see tt n tt joy from within realli made me feel so so blessed =))))
n then there wuz chinese new year!!! wheee!!! hahaha she came over to visit my godma n family, who wuz in s'pore fer e chinese new year... came over to my place n i went over to her place yadayadayada... but more memorably wuz our cny movie session n our sushi session!!! haha we did e exact same things as one year ago!! honestly, tho e things tt we did wuz almost e same, e feeling is very much different alr, having spent a year tgt alr, our bond is so much stronger than b4...
ok let's move on to update about my occupation now... having graduated from jc, it feels as if i'm much older alr haha... no more student concessions fer bus rides n so on =(( but well, everything comes wif a price doesn't it?? ok so my 1st job this yr after taking a long break from my recital last dec wuz an export executive wif donaldson filtration, a US mnc... sounds impressive eh? not at all in fact... it's juz some boring job overseeing e outsourced logistics company making sure they're doing their job... no parters, no colleagues... haha how sad huh... so i quit... then thereafter i became a relief teacher at beatty secondary school... challenging n inspiring i would say... interacting n teaching a different group of kids from where i came from.. when i'm teaching them, i'm learning bout them at e same time too haha.. one thing fer sure, their outspoken nature n thirst fer knowledge realli impressed me, n changed my perspective towards e usual stereotypical neighbourhood school kid... now tt's wat i call a good job haha... get to learn stuffs... well tt wuz temporary too... finally i'm at my current job, which is a customer service officer wif cpf board... n guess wat, i'm posted to potong pasir cc!!! haha i applied fer e transfer from my allocated kampong glam cc cos it's so much nearer to college so i can get to spend time wif esther despite my odd n long working hours =D well i would say this is my most satisfactory job so far haha... apart from being able to spend more quality time wif esther, i learnt so much more about e poorer side of s'pore, n being frontline service staff, i learnt bout how blessed i am to hav so many things alr, a good family, a fairly good academic record, good frens, n more imptly a great romance n a stable job (b4 ns =(( )... ok tt's alot bout me alr haha...
wat bout esther?? well she bz preparing fer BT1!! her very 1st battle this yr b4 heading on to BT2, prelims n finally, the As.. well seeing her so hardworking puts me at relief cos she's working hard... haha she needs occasional reminders n nagging to takkaire of her own health... so frens out there of hers reading this, please remind her to takkaire of her health!!! =X hahaha... well she's not in this alone cos i noe even tho i can't be there, i'll do wadeva i can in this period while i'm still available n also free time during ns to help her out... oh yes i got a realli nice notebook!!! haha i'm reading newspapers almost everday to pick out good articles to help her out wif her general knowledge to tackle GP n econs essays haha... i'm sure it'll help her alot cos she hardly hav any time to read or follow news nowadays... ahh i'm glad i'm of some help at least, than a hindrance to her studies hahaha... hmmm seeing her put in so much effort wif such determination, i'm sure she'll do well in her A's!!! maybe even better than me!!! haha
ok tt brings me to my A level results which wuz released not too long ago... well i got A B C n A2 fer GP... not bad i would say but definitely below expectations la haha... well God has His plans fer me, so i'll juz move on n see wat He has installed fer mi in my life! haha well esther muz be feeling stressed now again reading this portion bout A levels n results n studies hahaha...
okok enuff of those... ahh how times flies huh.. in 1 month exactly, i'll be moving on to my next phase in life - NS. how exciting huh... *hurhur* ok nvm i shall stop sounding like a sarcastic fool... hmmm i'd say my biggest worry is esther once i get into army... i noe i'll take some time to get used to her absence, n so will she... well absence makes e heart fonder i hope =) i'm actualli quite relieved to a certain extent tt she's got realli nice bandmates n classmates to push her on in my absence n once again thank God fer tt... this, i would say, is a new beginning fer both of us... no point feeling sad, getting emo n all... let's juz face it... i'm sure our little plant is strong enuff, after a year, to withstand this period of "drought" haha... tho lesser water n sunlight, but still we'll be standing strong, i'm sure =)))
well it's been a period of many ups n downs, great times n rough patches... but one thing fer sure: i feel realli realli blessed to hav esther in my life n rite now i juz wanna cherish every moment wif her b4 i enter NS, n make e most outta this one month left =D once again, thank you darling fer being e you in my life... i love you esther...
<3 andrew
neveralone ;9:21 PM
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